So You’ve Decided to Start a City Based GSRD Commune…

Let me set the stage: It’s 2020, I was living in an illegal HMO (House in Multiple Occupation), where the room I was paying an exorbitant amount of money for fits a single bed, and that bed touches three walls regardless of the orientation in the room. No socialising outside of zoom calls, occasional park walks with one of my partners, and the housemates who are responsible for the constant waves of mice…

At one point, an idea surfaces, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if we could just have a poly commune, and then we wouldn’t need to worry so much about social bubbles’. For others, it was a fun throw away, but for me the vision was clear: a vibrant community rooted in GSRD (Gender, Sexuality, Relationship Diversity) principles, where everyone could express their true selves without fear of judgment.

This dream transformed slowly over the next few years as I researched, planned, plotted, schemed, into a something more concrete. A plan that was so wild that it started to take on a life of its own.

A plan I called Poly Heights.

For years, I have felt the weight of societal norms dictating how we should live, love, and relate to one another. I’ve watched friends struggle with isolation, misunderstanding, and a lack of spaces that truly accommodate diverse identities and relationship structures. I long for a place where people of all backgrounds and experiences can find community, understanding, and acceptance.

Poly Heights is my vision for that space. It is not a reality yet, but rather a developing idea — a blueprint for a community where individuals can come together, share their stories, and build meaningful connections. I want to create a space where everyone, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, or relationship structure, can thrive.

At the heart of Poly Heights is the celebration of diversity — not just tolerating differences but embracing them fully. I envision a place where genuine relationships can flourish beyond conventional norms and where members can empower one another through shared knowledge, resources, and mutual support.

So, I began making a plan.

Crafting a Vision for Poly Heights

As I began to turn my dream into a reality, I realised the importance of having a clear vision for Poly Heights. This vision wasn’t just about providing a physical space; it was about cultivating a culture of inclusivity, respect, and collaboration.

Defining Our Values

Turning this dream into a reality requires more than just enthusiasm — it requires a clear vision and foundational principles. With input from early supporters, I began defining the values that would shape Poly Heights:

• Inclusivity: A space where everyone feels welcome and valued.

• Respect: Honouring each individual’s identity and lived experience.

• Collaboration: Emphasising collective decision-making and mutual support.

• Education: Promoting awareness and understanding of GSRD issues.

I took this so far, in fact, that I ended up creating an entire manifesto for how we would act and treat each other.

The ‘Agile Manifesto for Communal Living’ (Yes, I am a project manager in my day to day life, how could you tell?).

Gathering Like-Minded Souls

No community is built alone. As I developed this idea, I started having conversations within the polyamorous and GSRD communities, particularly in one of the UK’s largest poly groups. Slowly, interest began to grow. While Poly Heights remains a vision, these discussions have helped refine the idea and gather like-minded individuals who want to explore the possibilities with me.

I am still searching for more people to help spread the word and help, and will be looking to form a steering committee in the near future (do get in touch if you are interested in being a part of the journey)

Anticipating Challenges

Starting Poly Heights has not been without its challenges. I am very aware of the often cited statistic that “90% of communities fail”, from Creating a Life Together, by Diana Leafe Christian. I embraced these hurdles as opportunities for growth, and I believe that with things like this, even if it is most likely to fail, it is still worth pursuing.

I believe (and research tells me) that the causes of failure tend to fall into one of three camps, which I will likely be able to write entire articles about at a later date, but very simply:

1. Financial Sustainability

• How will we fund this?

• What ownership models will work best?

• What creative solutions can we explore to ensure long-term viability?

2. Conflict Resolution

• How can we build a culture of open communication and transparency?

• What structures will help us navigate inevitable disagreements?

• How do we ensure everyone feels heard and respected?

3. Navigating Legalities

• What are the best legal structures for co-living communities in the UK?

• Should we pursue a co-ownership or par-value model?

• How do we navigate housing laws and communal living agreements?

Each of these challenges is an opportunity to refine the vision, build resilience, and ensure that if Poly Heights becomes a reality, it has a strong foundation.

Fostering Inclusivity at Poly Heights

At the core of Poly Heights is a commitment to fostering inclusivity. I want this to be a space where discussions around identity, privilege, and intersectionality are actively encouraged. Organising workshops, events, and support networks will be key to making this a reality.

Moreover, celebrating small wins will be crucial. Change is incremental, and every step towards community-building — whether it’s refining the vision, finding the right people, or securing funding — deserves recognition.

Final Thoughts

Poly Heights is not yet a physical space — it is an idea, a vision, a possibility. Right now, it exists in conversations, planning documents, and the collective imagination of those who believe in the need for alternative ways of living. But I believe that with the right people and the right approach, it can become a reality.

If this vision resonates with you, I invite you to join the conversation. We have an email list on the website and a Facebook group where we can discuss ideas, share insights, and explore next steps together. Whether you’re interested in co-creating this community, offering expertise, or simply learning more, you are welcome.

Building a community like this will not be easy, but the rewards — connection, understanding, and collective empowerment — are immeasurable. If you’re ready to be part of this journey, I’d love to hear from you.

Let’s build something extraordinary — together.

-Morgan